How To Restore The 4 Enriching Ingredients Of HOPE

HOPE = Happiness Optimism Passion Equanimity

Life on planet earth is meant to be a rich playing field & bountiful source of human emotional growth & learning, that’s why we have enormous emotional capacity. But how do we find our way through the maze of emotional deadends & blocks without getting exhausted or emotionally wrung out?

As a counselling psychologist in practice for the last 20 years in the UK & NZ, I have heard the most amazing rationales & compelling stories to explain emotional unhappiness & disturbance.

When life becomes all too much, we struggle to make sense of the huge array of emotions within us & in others around us…

Read More

Counselling, Happiness, Wellbeing

Download your Wellbeing

  Some excellent research  into 22 European nations accounts of wellbeing is on the NEF (New Economics Foundation, UK) website.  NEF is a UK charity promoting global interdependence, thriving communities, wellbeing & future economy for policy-makers, governments & organisations.   NEF used 2  components in their comprehensive research of wellbeing personal & social wellbeing.  Denmark was top scorer for personal & social wellbeing.   I wonder how NZ would shape up in comparison.   more on Sub-components of Personal Well-being…

Read More

Happiness, Positive Psychology, Wellbeing, , , , ,

If you are feeling blue.. my Top Pickup Tips

Image taken from finkorswim.com

Some times I feel down & I don’t know why, my heart just kind of feels heavy & I know I have lost my smile. Even facebook seems to be all boring & samey.  I usually go through the process of elimination – is it food eaten, hormones, lack of beauty sleep, the weather?   Am I just having a blue day & how can I shift it into a bright sunshiny yellow-gold day?

If you are feeling down & blue, what to do  …

Read More

Happiness, Inspiration, Therapy trends, Wellbeing, , , , ,

How to Live in the Moment?

 January 2012

How much do we long for the ability to sustain a wonderful sense of feeling good? The short-lived highs of a new technological gadget or a fashion scoop hardly touches the pleasure centre spot. We search for greater meaning. So really appreciating the simple things in life, feeling a good aspect in every person we encounter, is an art which needs practice.

 Living in the moment..

Psychologists & counselors are moving strongly into mindfulness based therapies as a way to help people become much more present emotionally & mentally. http://www.actmindfully.com.au

If we can live each day as if it has great meaning, like its our last, would we hold a different point of view on the road rage or the argument with the spouse? What really matters to us?…

Read More

Happiness, Inspiration, Therapy trends, Wellbeing

One day we CAN work for LOVE & not for money!

I was reading a lovely blog from Tiny Buddha on embracing your inner life coach & reflected on just how much popular psychology over the last 20 years or so has been driven by individuality, personal power. Its all about ME – yeah right- not!

More than anything else, these times are demonstrating that we need to consider sustainability, impact on ourselves & others, rather than just profit & productivity & personal empowerment.

” had this lingering feeling that my work wasn’t truly serving others and didn’t have a real impact on the world”.

…

Read More

Inspiration, Wellbeing, Workplace Wellbeing

Compassion Fatigue – An occupational hazzard?

Have you lost your joie de vive? Do you find yourself getting drained listening to others’ crisis & personal issues? Yes I know sometimes life is tough & we have our own issues to deal with too!   As a line manager do you find your internal empathy is running a bit dry? Are you sufficiently emotionally robust to handle co-workers’ grief, traumas, life-dramas, over-sensitivities, anger outbursts etc?  Maybe you are suffering from compassion fatigue otherwise known as ‘vicarious traumatisation‘.    Here’s a handy fact sheet on compassion fatigue 

…

Read More

Energy Psychology, Therapy trends, Wellbeing, , , , ,

Is work making us mentally ill ?

February 2012

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.  As you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others permission to do the same, Liberated from your fear, your presence liberates others.  Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech 1994

Looking at our emotional health at work, I was intrigued by a recent UK study by Chartered Institute of Personnel & Development (CIPD)

on supporting mental health in the workplace.  In 2011, they commissioned YouGov to survey over 2000 employees to identify their experiences & attitudes about the degree of mental health at work. 26% reported mental health difficulties, with women higher than men. Rates were also higher in the 35 to 44 year age group.

CIPD also cite the CAUSES of mental health problems

…

Read More

Positive Psychology, Wellbeing, Workplace Wellbeing, , , , , ,

4 simple steps to remind yourself to self-nurture – you deserve it!

Isn’t it time – for you?

January 2012

I was enjoying walking by the ocean, golden sands, gentle lapping waves, emerald-azure waters, I could be feeling absolutely amazing or I could be lost within my dark thoughts. Then I was contemplating what does the internal landscape really look like & how do we take care of ourselves. Maintaining a feel-good factor is quite an art, even an ongoing okayness can be tricky. Our runaway thoughts are compelling & addictive as they fuel the epic 3D stories & tales – current & past.

Before we can say Jack Robinson (and who the hell was he anyway?) we have entered the dragon’s lair, fears, anxieties, self-recriminations, resentments emerge from the dragon’s fire & we spiral down. So many of our feelings especially anxieties, reside in the gut /sacral centre, yet somewhere within us we have the capacity to ease this fire & nurture ourselves, when we start to feel bad.

4 easy steps to self-nurture cont’d

…

Read More

Inspiration, Positive Psychology, Wellbeing

Bridging the gap between Wellbeing and Distress

For my beachside holiday reading over Christmas & New Year I enjoyed perusing Dr Russ Harris’ new book The Reality Slap – How to find fulfillment when life hurts (see www.actmindfully.com.au) which looks at how events in life such as crisis & disasters shock us, causing a huge slap in our reality awareness, especially events like death, divorce, bankruptcy, redundancy, disability, serious illness or injury.   The recent earthquake & aftershocks in Christchurch is a prime example, following on from the previous shakes. These life events can affect us to such a degree that the gap between what is happening/happened & what we desire or need in order to feel OK looks like a huge gulf.  Even Christmas & New Year experiences of family dramas or feeling alone can trigger so much distress in us, that we find it hard to engage with everyday life. In these troubled times, Russ’s book helps us to develop self-compassion. He uses ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy) – ACT mindfulness  to deal with these major losses.   I was then reflecting on how exactly do we manage this reality slap.
How can we bridge the gap between feeling normally OK with inner WELLBEING & dealing with the distress of having our world turned upside down?
The 2 worlds can seem to be universes apart.

Here are 7 ways to bridge the gap…

Read More

1 CommentHappiness, Inspiration, Therapy trends, Wellbeing, Workplace Wellbeing

Active empathic resonance – playing with brain waves

ACTIVE EMPATHIC RESONANCE presentation by Pamela Harland excerpts from the workshop presented at Mind Body Conference Auckland 2004 Playing with brain waves From my work with cancer clients at the Bristol Cancer Help Centre in the UK (now known as the Penny Brohn Centre after the founder), I found that connecting with patients using a technique called active empathic resonance, many…

Read More

Energy Psychology, Therapy trends, Wellbeing